My Psalm

My Psalm

I am known by the creator of everything. He knows that I am sitting and meditating on His word right now. His hand is upon me even in Delhi, India.

You understand all of my thoughts. All of my fears. You can feel my weary and troubled heart. You know my afflictions. Oh God, You are with me in my troubles. You care for me in my pain. My tears do not go unnoticed by You. How I love you Lord. My afflictions are great, but You are my comforter even in the midst of the trials. I rest and depend on You in my suffering. You have enclosed me behind and before. I am surrounded by You. Before I speak a work of my suffering or cry out to You, You know my distresses. How great and perfect is Your love. How deep it is that I will never comprehend. I walk in obedience as Your servant and cry to you in my suffering. Oh God, hear my cry. In my loneliness stretch out Your hand to me that I may know Your touch. Whisper words of comfort softly in my ear. Put my afflicted heart to rest, that I may taste Your peace. I do not deserve what I am asking, yet I plead for it in my lowly state. Let me look upon Your face and experience joy in my tribulation. You are holy. You are good. You are just. Your Son's sacrifice has made me pure and sanctified in Your sight. So it is by His blood that I draw near to You in confidence. Knowing that You will hear Your daughters cry. Take delight in me. Look upon me with mercy. I rest in you and wait patiently for You. You have broken me, yet You are faithful and will restore me according to Your lovingkindness. If you will not walk with me through this, I will not go because I can do nothing apart from You. I boldly ask You to not only walk with me, but to carry me. For my legs are weary and my strength is gone. Hear my cry and fulfill the work You have started in me. I am Your daughter and I sit in obedience waiting on You Lord.

On the Verge

On the Verge   

So it is now day five of being at the YWAM base. . .and honestly I'm on the verge of a complete breakdown. I miss home so much. I miss how my mom is there to play with my hair whenever I get overwhelmed, or seeing my dad come through the garage door after work. I miss my friends humor. I miss everything down to the smell of my house and the way my bed feels. I have no idea how I'm going to last five months here. This week has been a serious struggle. I go through stages of loving it here.. to just wanting to pack up all of my things and catch a taxi to the airport.

I've been sick with stomach problems that have been incredibly painful and it makes me want the comfort of home. I am the baby in this program. The next closest to my age is Sarah, who is 19. Everyone else is 22 and older. Being the youngest is hard on me too. 

I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed currently and I just want a hug from my mom. 

Anyway, I won't keep harping on the fact that I want to be home and I'll share with you about where I am.

I am in Northern Delhi (about ten minutes outside of where the red fort is). I am in a building that is kind of built like a five-story condo. The ground floor has two entrances. The first entrance is into where the girls dorms are.. and the second is into where the boys dorms are located. The girls dorms are split into two rooms. I have three roommates in my room and the other room has three girls. So there are seven girl students all together. Like I said earlier, I am the youngest by far. 

There are no showers in the building. We take showers by filling up a bucket with cold water and pouring it on us. The toilets don't flush. We can only use the a/c from 10 at night until 6 in the morning. We have rice and dal (which is lentils) for just about every meal. No phone or computer Monday through Friday. No leaving the base Monday through Friday. 

The school starts on Monday. A minimum of 16 hours of lecture and 3 hours of intercession are required per week. So Monday through Friday from 6 in the morning until 10:30 at night are completely planned out. 

The Lecture Phase goes as follows...

week 1: Hearing Gods Voice

week 2: Faith & Finance

week 3: Discipleship 

week 4:Character of God

week 5: Sex & Relationships

week 6: Inner Healing

week 7: Father Heart of God

week 8: Mission

week 9: Spiritual Gifting

week 10: Submission to Authority


....so this is what the next 10 weeks of my life are going to look like.


I don't really have anything else to update on.

Please please pray for me because I'm really struggling. I really just want to go home.

Love you all,

Elyssia