On the Verge
So it is now day five of being at the YWAM base. . .and honestly I'm on the verge of a complete breakdown. I miss home so much. I miss how my mom is there to play with my hair whenever I get overwhelmed, or seeing my dad come through the garage door after work. I miss my friends humor. I miss everything down to the smell of my house and the way my bed feels. I have no idea how I'm going to last five months here. This week has been a serious struggle. I go through stages of loving it here.. to just wanting to pack up all of my things and catch a taxi to the airport.
I've been sick with stomach problems that have been incredibly painful and it makes me want the comfort of home. I am the baby in this program. The next closest to my age is Sarah, who is 19. Everyone else is 22 and older. Being the youngest is hard on me too.
I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed currently and I just want a hug from my mom.
Anyway, I won't keep harping on the fact that I want to be home and I'll share with you about where I am.
I am in Northern Delhi (about ten minutes outside of where the red fort is). I am in a building that is kind of built like a five-story condo. The ground floor has two entrances. The first entrance is into where the girls dorms are.. and the second is into where the boys dorms are located. The girls dorms are split into two rooms. I have three roommates in my room and the other room has three girls. So there are seven girl students all together. Like I said earlier, I am the youngest by far.
There are no showers in the building. We take showers by filling up a bucket with cold water and pouring it on us. The toilets don't flush. We can only use the a/c from 10 at night until 6 in the morning. We have rice and dal (which is lentils) for just about every meal. No phone or computer Monday through Friday. No leaving the base Monday through Friday.
The school starts on Monday. A minimum of 16 hours of lecture and 3 hours of intercession are required per week. So Monday through Friday from 6 in the morning until 10:30 at night are completely planned out.
The Lecture Phase goes as follows...
week 1: Hearing Gods Voice
week 2: Faith & Finance
week 3: Discipleship
week 4:Character of God
week 5: Sex & Relationships
week 6: Inner Healing
week 7: Father Heart of God
week 8: Mission
week 9: Spiritual Gifting
week 10: Submission to Authority
....so this is what the next 10 weeks of my life are going to look like.
I don't really have anything else to update on.
Please please pray for me because I'm really struggling. I really just want to go home.
Love you all,
Elyssia
So it is now day five of being at the YWAM base. . .and honestly I'm on the verge of a complete breakdown. I miss home so much. I miss how my mom is there to play with my hair whenever I get overwhelmed, or seeing my dad come through the garage door after work. I miss my friends humor. I miss everything down to the smell of my house and the way my bed feels. I have no idea how I'm going to last five months here. This week has been a serious struggle. I go through stages of loving it here.. to just wanting to pack up all of my things and catch a taxi to the airport.
I've been sick with stomach problems that have been incredibly painful and it makes me want the comfort of home. I am the baby in this program. The next closest to my age is Sarah, who is 19. Everyone else is 22 and older. Being the youngest is hard on me too.
I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed currently and I just want a hug from my mom.
Anyway, I won't keep harping on the fact that I want to be home and I'll share with you about where I am.
I am in Northern Delhi (about ten minutes outside of where the red fort is). I am in a building that is kind of built like a five-story condo. The ground floor has two entrances. The first entrance is into where the girls dorms are.. and the second is into where the boys dorms are located. The girls dorms are split into two rooms. I have three roommates in my room and the other room has three girls. So there are seven girl students all together. Like I said earlier, I am the youngest by far.
There are no showers in the building. We take showers by filling up a bucket with cold water and pouring it on us. The toilets don't flush. We can only use the a/c from 10 at night until 6 in the morning. We have rice and dal (which is lentils) for just about every meal. No phone or computer Monday through Friday. No leaving the base Monday through Friday.
The school starts on Monday. A minimum of 16 hours of lecture and 3 hours of intercession are required per week. So Monday through Friday from 6 in the morning until 10:30 at night are completely planned out.
The Lecture Phase goes as follows...
week 1: Hearing Gods Voice
week 2: Faith & Finance
week 3: Discipleship
week 4:Character of God
week 5: Sex & Relationships
week 6: Inner Healing
week 7: Father Heart of God
week 8: Mission
week 9: Spiritual Gifting
week 10: Submission to Authority
....so this is what the next 10 weeks of my life are going to look like.
I don't really have anything else to update on.
Please please pray for me because I'm really struggling. I really just want to go home.
Love you all,
Elyssia
I luv u!! Picture me giving you one of those big hugs( although you are bigger than me)....
ReplyDeletePsalm 51:17. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit....
That is where God has you right now, but He is so much bigger than that. Rest in His grandness, the Maker of heaven and earth.
Love,
Mom
"I lift my eyes to the hills. From whence does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." Psalms 121:1-2
ReplyDeleteFocus on God and everyone around you and the discomfort you feel will vanish.
Oh Elyssia! I am praying as I write this message to you. I think this is likely going to be the hardest part of your stay in India. After the newness wears off, then the homesickness begins. It will get better. You will make friends with the other students and the routine of your studies will be a welcome distraction from thoughts of home. I know that 5 months seems like such a long time and in one respect it is... but think about how quickly Christmas sneaks up on us after school begins. Sometimes it's like the blink of an eye and we have shifted from swimsuits to ugly Christmas sweaters! :-) We will all be here when you come home and we will be waiting with open arms. Life in Carmel and Fishers will likely stay the same as when you left, but God will have changed you. God has huge plans for you, Elyssia; this I believe with all my heart. Submit and let him mold you. Home will be here when He's done.
ReplyDeleteI love you so much,
Mrs. Haddad
Heavenly Father, please wrap your arms around Elyssia and provide her with your strength, comfort and peace. Please heal her body and bring it back to full health. Help her to know you are near her, that you love her, and will supply her with everything she needs. Father you tell us that the power that raised Jesus from the dead, is available to us. So in the name of Jesus, I pray that your power, your Spirit, would fill Elyssia. Lead her with strength and help her learn what you are teaching her. Help her to be content in everything. I ask this in Your Son's precious name, Amen.
ReplyDeleteDearest Elyssia,
ReplyDeleteKnow that you are strong, resilient, and supported. Feel the love of family and friends surrounding you.
love always,
Grandma
And if you're eating chickpeas as well as lentils.... omit chicpeas/garbanzos/hummus. You might have my allergy to them that results in stomach distress. Lentils are fine. You have had a complete change of diet. If you can return to fruits and veggies on the weekends, it may halp your body adjust. I love you.
Elyssia, I work with your dad and he told me of your mission trip. What a wonderful thing you are doing!!! I can't imagine how much you will grow spiritually from the experience!
ReplyDeleteYou have so many people in your corner...people you don't even know! Stay strong and let HIS love give you all the strength you need!
I will continue to pray for you!